Injection days are filled with anxiety - and it's so stupid. I know it doesn't hurt THAT bad.. but the whole process just sucks. I can go get a blood test and I'm fine, flu shots - sure why not. I'm covered in tattoos which were done by.... you guessed it... NEEDLES! One even took over 6 hours! 6 hours of needles constantly going in and out of my skin and I was fine. In my younger days I have had my tongue pierced twice AND my septum pierced. But these stupid little needles are making me on edge! It doesn't help that every time I have a shower, or change my clothes, these big red splotches are staring at me.
I had a great night last night. I went to a cool restaurant to watch the Canucks game with my friend and my boyfriend. All was great, until I got home and had to whip out the Rebismart. My boyfriend was going to do the injection on my arm. This resulted in him holding the Rebismart against my arm and me going "Don't hit the button! Don't hit the button!" for about 10 minutes until I finally gave up and decided to do my leg, AGAIN. I was so worked up by this time that I couldn't even push the button by myself on my leg, and he had to do it for me.
I have a prescription for Ativan that my neurologist prescribed to me for my MRI appointments. Yet another totally illogical fear, but more to come on my MRI experiences in a future post. I'm going to ask Multiple Support, or maybe my Neuro if I can take one of these on injection nights until everything becomes sort of routine and I'm used to it. I hate taking Ativan, but I HAVE to get over this some how. I'm so disappointed in myself right now. I understand that my fear is irrational, and I understand that this is for the greater good of my health, but I'm ready to saw screw it and throw the stupid injection business out the window. I know I can't do that though, I shall trek on. I'll pretend it's an adventure.
To top everything off, my lovely little Rebismart told me that my next dose (tomorrow night) goes up to 22mcg. I'm almost positive the nurse told me after 6 weeks the dose would go up. I've only done 2 weeks now, which is six injections. I guess she was confused. I'm still going to confirm with Multiple Support tomorrow - Just in case! I'm nervous that the dosage goes up in such high amounts. From 8mcg to 22mcg?! That's almost 3x as much! I'm concerned that I'll start feeling the side effects more. I guess we'll find out. I also forgot to adjust my settings so that the injection time was 13 seconds and as such, I still had a drop on my skin after the injection completed. So, on top of my unexplainable anxiety, and a higher dose, I now have to worry about 13 seconds. It doesn't seem like much, but I definitely noticed the difference between 8 seconds and 10 seconds.
Other than all the injection crap going on right now, things are pretty good. Work is much better, my energy levels are back to normal (even though I took an Alertec this morning for the firs time in awhile) and the icing on the cake - IT'S JERSDAY! No injection for me tonight, so I'm going to be a lump on the couch, eat a yummy supper and get my fist pumpin' on.
~Sarah
