I'm alive!

Still dealing with the broken hand... I will post soon!  Promise!

~Sarah

Fall down go boooooom!

This will be short and sweet - not because I don't have much to write, but because I broke my left hand.  Yup... busted, broken, snap crackle pop!

We had a great time in Whistler!  The zip line was amazing.  Terrifying, but amazing.  I'll include the video at the end of the post.  On Sunday morning we were walking to breakfast in the middle of a snow storm and I slipped down a flight of stairs and landed right on my hand.  We thought it was a sprain, but today my hand was super swollen and a mixture of green, grey, black and purple!  Xrays confirmed - I broke two bottom knuckles and both fingers.  Awesome.  I have a temporary splint on now, and I go in tomorrow to get a cast or a more sturdy splint.

In regards to my injections, everything is going well.  No side effects after the 44mcg dose.  We injected into my leg tonight which was fine.  My leg is still the most pain free location for injections.

I had my neuro appointment today - it went well!!  I will post more as soon as my hand makes it possible to type more than 10 wpm.  Enjoy this video of me flying 400 feet above the ground at 100km/h until I can post again!

~Sarah

44mcg - nice to meet you.

Well the dreaded day has come - time to double the dosage. 

Injection was fine.  I tried to suck it up as much as I could, but there was some whining and pleading.  My boyfriend doesn't fall for the whining anymore so he hit the button.  This injection was different though.  I've always had the stinging, but this was megaaaaa stinging!  I guess more medication means more stinging?!

I don't feel that great right now.  I have a little bit of a headache and I feel run down.   Whether or not this is the result of a long day at work, or the medication I will probably never know.  Hopefully I get a full night sleep and I wake up feeling great.

I need to feel great tomorrow because my boyfriend is taking me away for the weekend!!!!  We're heading up to amazing Whistler BC for a weekend of Zip Lining, snow tubing, shopping and exploring the village.  We're staying at the Delta Whistler Resort and we have a 1 bedroom suite right in the village which is the best place to be!!!

I can't wait to get away from the city for the weekend!!  I booked Monday off of work for my Neurologist appointment, so it's ALMOST like having a three day weekend.  Relaxation and sleep here I come!

I think it's bedtime for me.  As excited as I am, I'm being aggravated by the smallest little things right now.  That is the #1 signal for me that it is time to go to bed.  Good night!

~Sarah

Hey Rebismart - Happy one month anniversary! NOT.

One month has come and gone.  12 injections complete.

It's been a month of up and downs, but not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be.  Now that my boyfriend does my injections for the most part, the anxiety has passed.  Last night was the last 22mcg dose and I move up to 44mcg tomorrow.

It was time to move back to the dreaded stomach location.  My least favourite place.  It hurts, it stings, it leaves HUGE red marks.  I hate it.  My boyfriend set everything up, and didn't let me whine too much before he hit the button.  Once again, 13 seconds feels like an eternity!  It wasn't nearly as bad as my previous two stomach injections so I'm thankful for that.  We've started doing it as soon as I get home from work.  This stops be from being nervous and anxious all night leading up to the injection.  I like doing it earlier, it's much easier on my nerves!  Tomorrow night we'll do it as close to bedtime as possible though because I'm nervous that I will get some side effects with the double dose.

After my injection on Wednesday, the Rebismart told me that the cartridge was empty.  I was only two 22mg doses in with that vial, so I remember what the nurse had told me and I took the cartridge out and shook it a little bit.  I noticed there was an air bubble in there which freaked me out.  I put the cartridge back in the machine, and the Rebismart rescanned the cartridge and said I was good to go for another injection.  I called Multiple Support today and asked about the air bubble.  The nurse told me not to worry about it because they over fill the vials, and the air bubble won't be injected.  Whew.... I know I'm paranoid, but this is all new to me!!!

I need to get blood work done once a month for the first six months.  Rebif can be hard on the liver, so the blood work determines how my liver in functioning etc.  I'm not too worried about this in my case because I feel absolutely fine for the most part.  I would think if my liver was doing something bad that I would feel something?  Who knows.  The lab by my house opens at 7am so I thought I was being smart by going there early today on the way to my train.  Apparently I'm not the only smart person.  The waiting room was PACKED with a 15-20 min wait.... if I waited I would have missed my train and been late for work.  I have a very accommodating and cool boss, so she let me take off for an hour to go to a lab downtown.  Well, the thing about labs downtown - they are FULL of junkies.  It was a gross place to be, but it's over and done and my blood is being tested as I write this!  Cross your fingers for me - hopefully the results are good!

My fatigue is setting back in, but not as bad as it was previously.  I can make it through the day without taking an Alertec, but I'm on the couch as soon as I get home, and in bed by 10 at the absolute latest.  Leading up to 10 I slowly turn into a sleep deprived zombie.  I'm sleeping a little better on injection nights, but I still wake up several times through the night.  I'm a chronic toss and turner as is - throw some Rebif in there and I'm all over the map (or bed.)

Bedtime for me - I will post tomorrow night after my injection.  Wish me luck!

~Sarah

I didn't say when!!!!!

After what happened on Friday night, I was not stoked on my injection tonight.  Luckily work was busy, and I didn't have too much time to think about it.  The minute I walked out the door from work and got on the commuter train, the anxiety started to set in.

My boyfriend was here to help me tonight.  I was rattled from being here by myself, so he set up the Rebismart and I laid in my bed.  I find it MUCH easier to do the injection if I'm comfy and surrounded by pillows and my big feather duvet!!  He put the Rebismart on the lower side of my back where all the padding is.  I felt the machine on my skin and once again came "don't hit the button yet!  I'm not ready!" - He didn't wait until I was ready.  He hit the button and the Rebismart started the injection.  At first I was mad, but I knew if I moved or twitched it would be much worse.  So I stayed still for 13 seconds which feels like eternity.  As with Monday and Wednesday's injections last week I had no pain, slight stinging, and that's about it.

I'm happy that it's over with.  A successful injection tonight helps me get over the anxiety of what happened on Friday!  Hopefully Wednesday will be uneventful too!

Wednesday will be my last dose of 22mcg.  On Friday my dose goes up to 44mcg which is the full dosage for me.  So far I have had no side effects what so ever except for injection irritation and the lovely red splotches.  My biggest fear with starting this medication was surprisingly not the needles.  I was more worried about the aches, pains, and flu like side effects that I was told could accompany the injections for months!  None of that as of yet.  I'm hoping that it stays this way.  I've been taking two regular strength Advil before every injection.  I'm not sure if it's the Advil preventing me from feeling the side effects, or if I'm not even having them to start with.  My body appears to be reacting to the medication fairly well.  I'm crossing fingers that things keep going as well as they have been.

Life has been very uneventful and boring lately.  I need to get away, even if it's only for the weekend.  Bedtime now - zzZZzzZz  My energy level has been lacking this past few days.

~Sarah

Well, that was unexpected!

This is gonna be another long one.

One of my readers left a comment on my blog regarding the ingredients that make up Rebif.  I'm not sure why I never looked this up before.  I never look up ingredients on other medications I take.  I guess I mostly concentrate on what the medication is supposed to do for you, or what the side effects are.  Well - you learn something every day.  Rebif is made of Chinese Hamster Ovarian cells.  Yup.  Furry little critters.  Now, I didn't take this person's word for it.  I looked it up, and sure enough they were right!  It's not that I didn't believe them.  Perhaps it was that I didn't want to believe them!!!  Oh well, I'm too far in to go back now.  I just have to shake this overwhelming urge to store food in my cheeks and run on a wheel.  I shall survive!

Tonight was interesting to say the least.  My confidence was at an all time high since my past two injections were perfect!  No pain, no mark, no anxiety - I did it!  So naturally, I assured my boyfriend he didn't need to be here tonight and that I could handle it myself.

I had originally designed a routine for myself so that I would not forget any of the steps I needed to take on injection night.  However, because of the horrible anxiety I had been experiencing, my boyfriend was responsible for setting everything up while I stayed in the other room.  This worked great - however since I hadn't done any of the set up this week, I totally missed a few steps.

It has been more than 7 days since I last injected my leg, so I decided I could inject again in my leg as long as I choose a different area.  I totally forgot to clean the area.  Nicceee.  I put the needle in the machine and to my surprise the light started flashing red and the screen said "Check Needle."  Fine - I took the needle out, and put a new one in.  I didn't get any error messages, so I assumed it was fine.  I was feeling a little on edge, so I called my boyfriend and put him on speaker so I could talk to him while I did it.   I was confident, I was ready, and I hit the button.  No pain going in... but holllllllllllllllly did it ever hurt comin out.  I was just happy it was over, I lifted up the machine and was greeted by a quarter sized puddle of blood which promptly rolled down the side of my leg just as the machine decided to squirt a small stream of Rebif up my leg.  I immediately freaked out, grabbed a Kleenex to wipe up the blood and thought I was going to throw up.

SERIOUSLY!!!  Of all the nights for this to happen, the night I'm by myself was NOT THE TIME.  When I looked closer at the injection site I could see a small but very purple/black lump forming.  Because I'm a spaz who thinks I'm dying when I stub a toe, I grabbed some water, Advil, an Ice Pack and called Multiple Support.  The messaging service took down my information, and a nurse called me back within 5 minutes.

Multiple Support is only open during business hours on EST.  Anytime you need to talk to someone out of those hours, they have nurses on call.  I'm assuming these nurses work from home outside of those hours, and as such I feel horrible.  It's 1am there!  I told her what happened, and she stated that the needle was most likely crooked or bent inside the machine.  By this point, I had already discarded the needle in my sharps container and had no way of knowing what it looked like.  When the needle was pulling out, it probably twisted and ripped some tissue.  I told her that I thought I hit a vein, and she said that was rare and while I may have hit something that I shouldn't worry.  It was most likely just an issue with the actual needle.

Nurse's orders:  Ice pack for 5 minute intervals, and Advil for swelling/pain every 4 hours.

She let me know that I would most likely have a nasty bruise and that I need to pay close attention to the colours etc.  This was not a fun night but the nurse assured me that this was most likely a fluke accident, and it won't happen again.  Needless to say, I think I may be on edge when Monday rolls around and it's time to try again.  I'm curious to know if anybody else using the Rebismart has experienced a similar situation??

I think it's time to go to bed.  I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow - OH AM I EVER!

~Sarah

Things are lookin up!

I am happy to report that for the second time in a row, I sucked it up.  I've learned something this week - positivity = NO PAIN!

I've been doing it all wrong.  As you can see from my recent posts, injections have been horrible for me.  Not the after effects, but the actual act of the injection.  I'd work myself up and let the anxiety get the best of me.  By the time I finally did the injection, I was so worked up that it stung and hurt.  These last two injections, piece of cake.

As with Monday's injection, I prepared myself in the morning.  Told myself it wasn't going to hurt, and I'd be fine!  It has been more than 7 days since I injected into my leg, so we originally decided that my leg would be a good place.  My boyfriend talked me into trying a spot I hadn't done before, so we cleaned the little spot on my back above my butt.  I was a little anxious because it was a new spot that I've never done, and I wasn't sure if it would hurt.  But we did it quickly and TAAAADAAA!  Best spot yet!  I didn't even feel the needle go in and NO stinging!!!!

I really feel that my change in attitude this week has been the sole reason that things have become easier to deal with.

The red spots don't bother me nearly as much.  They've all faded for the most part except for one.  A couple injections ago I decided to try numbing cream.  The red spot from that injection is BY FAR the worst.  It's twice as big as the other ones, super bright red, and raised above the skin like a bug bite.  Never again will I used the numbing cream!!  I can't be sure if the red spot is just a bigger regular version of the red spot, or if the numbing cream had something to do with it.  I won't risk it again though.

Other than that, all is good right now!  Nothing new to report.  I'm looking forward to my Neuro appt on Feb 28th to discuss the findings of my most recent MRI.  This MRI is different than the ones I have had in the past as it was of my neck and spine, and was done to see if I have any clogged arteries or veins.

I hope all is well in cyber world!!!  Keep commenting, I really enjoy reading everything!!

~Sarah